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marriage

in Faith

What to Do With Your High Standards

Anyone old enough to have had any sort of life experience will tell you that you will get to a certain point in your mid-to-late 20s where people around you will begin to question your life choices – that is if they haven’t already. Questions will range from the timing of your masters and eventual PhD degree, to the number of kids you plan on having, and the exact number of years you plan on having between them. If you happen to, like me, fall into the category of ‘still single’ during these blessed years, the situation will spiral downwards fairly quickly. Your parents’ narrative will go from, ‘Focus on your studies’, and ‘Don’t waste your time with boys who will waste your time’ to ‘Stop being so picky’ in the blink of an eye, and without any forewarning whatsoever. One moment, they loved you and wanted your well-being, and…

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in Stories

Dana’s Story: Faith, Marriage, and Motherhood (pt. 1)

My own story speaks of a singular narrative: of a single Ghanaian-American woman in her mid-twenties pursuing Christ and all he has for her in this season. But there are many people in other seasons of life – and God is speaking to them too. I’m excited to share this first part of an interview I did with Dana, wife to Alex and mother of the beautiful baby Ava and puppy Bentley. Her story is one of strength, perseverance, humility, and grace in the face of challenge and loss. She, like all of us, is striving to be attentive to everything God is teaching her in the season she’s in, and I hope her narrative blesses you as much as it did me.    I’m sure people reading this want to know: Who is Dana?  Dana is passionate. I’m passionate about the people and things that add value to my life….

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in Faith

Seeking Mr. Christian

This one is for the ladies guys, but of course, feel free to read on 🙂 “I want a God-fearing man!” said almost every Christian woman everywhere when asked what she’s looking for in a future partner. I definitely say it all the time myself… but have we ever really sat down and bothered to ask ourselves why? Why DO we want God-fearing men in our lives? Is it because we actually want to build a godly legacy with said man? Or is it because we think they are more likely to treat us right and less likely to cheat? *mic drop* Yea, I said it lol. As crazy as it is, I think it really is more of the latter than the former! We want a prudent man who will be patient and kind and caring, and provide for his family and be faithful – but really, you could…

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in Lifestyle

Relationship Advice Quarterly

You have to be friends with a dude/chick before you even think about relationships. This is the best advice my uncle ever gave me – he’s so quirky but gives the absolute best relationship advice: Be friends with a guy. Don’t be in a rush to get him to lock you down. Talk about random things. Fight. Tell him what he does that annoys you. Annoy him and see how he responds lol. Friendship allows you to assess how someone would act in high pressure situations without the risk.  We have become a generation of women that have followed Beyonce down this ‘if you like it put a ring on it’ path and pressuring men to jump into relationships ten seconds after we meet them, ‘or else’. But where they do that at???? You realize Beyonce and Jay dated for like a Bazillion years before he proposed? And even in…

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in Dear Diary, Faith

When Are You getting Married?

I finally got asked. I thought I could escape the question for a while more – being the last-but-one grandchild on my Father’s side and all. My aunties had other plans. “So… when are you also getting married?” “Who me? I have been asking myself the same question. I’ll let you know when I figure out the answer!” I reply sarcastically. “So there’s no one special?” “Nope.” “Do you want me to introduce you to some people?” “Nooooope!” “Then that means there must be someone you have in mind!” “Errrr…. no. Not actually.” *Ghanaian aunty face of disbelief*  I have to admit, her logic was socially sound. If I don’t have a man, and I’m not looking for a man, then there must be a man in mind, right??  Wrong.  My own response kind of surprised me though! I used to be what my sister calls a ‘serial relationshipist’. Out one relationship,…

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in Dear Diary

The Build-A-Man Workshop

Welcome, Ladies, to the Build-A-Man Workshop – where you can create your Perfect Man simply with the click of a few buttons! Let me tell you how it works: First,  our state-of-the-art Man Generator will ask you a series of questions to ascertain what it is you want your Man to look like. Green eyes? Long hair? Maybe you’re into man buns? Beards? Do you want him six-foot-four, athletic build, and with a dashing smile? We’ve got you covered!  Next, tell us what attributes you want in a man – you name it, we can make it. Faithfulness and Kindness are our top picks, but we also offer Generosity, Sense of Humor, Passion, Confidence (with a dash of Cockiness), Dependability, among many, many others.  Of course, what would your Perfect Man be without his accessories? A six-figure job, a 2016 Porsche, a royal lineage, and good taste in clothing are just a few…

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in Nuggets

Let’s Talk About Relationships

Cue eye roll. You know why I rarely blog about relationships, and waiting for God’s best for you, and how to be in a godly relationship and all that wonderful stuff Christian women eat up like crazy???? Well, other than the fact that I have the patience of a two-year old,  I’m single, and I’m totally unqualified to tell people how to practically live out a God-first relationship? lol Because the devil has spent so much time deceiving women into believing that their value to the Kingdom of God is dependent on them getting married/having a husband. It’s almost as if there’s this pervasive belief in the Church that a woman is not of value to the Church or legitimate in ministry until she has a man by her side- or that God’s only plan for women is to marry them off to provide support to godly men. I’m sorry,…

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in Dear Diary

Musings of A Single Ghanaian Woman In Her Mid-Twenties

As I sit here sipping my usual morning brew of hot lemon water with ginger, praying it’s miraculously imbibed with the same effects as coffee, it dawns on me that I’ll be 25 in just over 3 months. 25. That dreaded point of no return. When you’re young enough to still be single and figuring life out, but old enough to care that you ARE single and haven’t gotten it all figured out yet. And soon others around you start to care too. And 25 is that number for ME. Maybe it was 18 for you, I dunno. I guess it really all depends on where and how you’re raised. There’s something about heading into your late 20s as a Ghanaian woman that causes people to start to expect things from and of you- but not career-wise- they don’t really seem to have a past-due date for that as a…

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