I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Relationships can be one heck of an emotional roller coaster. As I read your question this verse popped in my head from Song of Solomon 8:4:
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem,
not to awaken love until the time is right.
There is a time for everything. And even if you know in your heart of hearts that it is meant to be, doesn’t mean it’s the right time. When it comes to God and trust and timing, you have to constantly be in chill mode. You have to learn to hold on to things loosely. Maybe he is the one for you – but maybe God knows that if He let you continue together at this point in your lives you’ll destroy it before it can ever bloom into what He has planned. Maybe there is a work He needs to do in you and in him, and He can’t do it when you’re both preoccupied with each other.
The Old Eudora? If I liked a guy and thought he was ‘The One’, you couldn’t tell me NOTHING lol. My whole life became centered around creating a life together. Then God stopped me one day and told me, ‘Child, if he is for you, you don’t have to worry about it. You don’t have to tell or convince him. I am completely capable of that. I need you to focus on you and Me, and leave him to Me. If he isn’t for you, then I have better. Either way, you have nothing to fret about. Don’t waste your time obsessing over what you can’t control because it’s not your masterpiece.’ And after that I never spent my time obsessing over a man ever again. I carry every crush, every interest lightly with a que sera sera attitude.
And as for you ‘not getting any younger’: darling darling darling – don’t fall into that age trap. You will end up rushing into something that may not be for you or may be premature because you think you are running on some imaginary clock. I am turning 27 in six months and I haven’t been in a relationship since 2012 boo, not because ‘opportunities’ haven’t arisen but because I’m not willing to spend the rest of my life in wrong timing, or thinking ‘what if’, or living outside of God’s will and heart for me. Don’t awaken love before its time.
Forever is not something you want to get wrong.
Don’t stop praying. Never stop praying. But do redirect your prayers from ‘God do a miracle’ to ‘God show me what You want me to do. Do you want me to give him space? Do you want me to let go and trust you?’ Pause telling God want you want, and ask Him what He requires of you in this season. That’s when you’ll begin to see His hand move in ways you could never imagine. 🙂