It’s a process – one I’m still going through lol

I think as human beings we all like to be in total control of everything. We’re taught the formulas for life and for success- be good and work hard and life will work out just right. So you’re good- or at least relatively so. You don’t do ‘bad things’ or kill anyone or anything of that sort. You work hard- go to the best schools and get good grades. You follow the formula to a T. And so you figure, it’s all going to work out. I got this in the bag.

But it doesn’t. And you don’t.

And for the life of you, you can’t understand why. After crossing all the T’s and dotting all the I’s there is still something missing- the formula isn’t complete.

And that’s where I found myself. Essentially, at the end of myself. I didn’t know what else I could do to make my life go the way I wanted it to go. I couldn’t get my friendships right, my relationships right, my heart wasn’t right. I had no peace of mind because no matter how many times I calculated all the different equations, tried to adjust the formula, add this or subtract that, I always came up short- and by a huge amount.

And when you come to the end of yourself, is when God steps in. And you see the big picture.

You realize that all you really are is a minute factor in an infinite universe owned by an all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing God. You are faced with the ultimate truth that in the grand scheme of things, you really have very little control of how life plays out. You finally realize that you cannot live life within the context of the little box called ‘Me’ you’ve created for yourself, and when you step outside that box you’ll understand what I came to:

God Owns it ALL. He knows it ALL. He sees it ALL. If you live outside that context, you will never be able to fully surrender and trust that He knows what is best for you. As human beings we like to claim ownership over things. MY car. MY house. MY job that I struggled for. MY money. MINE MINE MINE. But the big picture shows you that everything we even consider to be ours is only ‘ours’ because God allowed it. If you really want or need something, the person who is ultimately going to give it to you- to reward your hard work- is God. Because everything is really His! If you don’t get something you feel you deserve? Then maybe He’s waiting for you to ask Him- or maybe He has something even better in mind that you don’t see. But until you trust Him and His plan- which, by the way, is perfect and infallible- you will never be able to see beyond what you think is right for you into something bigger and better.

When you come to the end of yourself, you find the beginning of God, and you will start to learn to trust in Him and His process. It isn’t a one day thing. You don’t meet someone and automatically trust them. You have to have a relationship with them- one that is tested through trials and tribulations. Hebrews 11:6 says ’And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him’. Not only do you have to believe that God exists, but you have to trust that He knows what’s best for you, for the very fact that He IS God.

I don’t know if I answered your question, but if not, let me know if there’s something more specific you’re looking for an answer to 🙂