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Qs & As

in Qs & As

How do I deal with my strong sexual urges as a christian teen trying to save myself for marriage?

Such a great question! I think when you’re trying to keep yourself for marriage or be celibate and you’re dealing with strong sexual urges, the first thing you need to do is understand them. What brings those urges on? Is it a conversation you’re having with a certain someone? Or a show you watch? Or the kind of conversations you entertain? I’ve had guys tell me I’m the worst flirt, because there are just some conversations I just cannot entertain at this point lol. All those ‘what are you wearing?’ and ‘do I turn you on?’ questions will be met with blank stares and ‘boy,bye’s, because I can’t afford to entertain the kind of conversations or men who will cause me to compromise my standards. lol And yes, my mind wanders like everyone else – I’d be worried if it didn’t – but it’s about consciously making the effort to always bring…

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in Qs & As

This is coming from a very bitter young lady. I hate my dad so much . He fell sick sometime back and hasn’t been able to fully recover. And you know what? I don’t even care. I actually don’t care if he lives or dies. People who do not know me may judge me. But this is someone who all my life has pronounced negatively into my life.Half of the self esteem issues I have, arise from the house. I’m happy when I’m away from home. But when I get home it’s like there’s a dark cloud hovering over my head

Hello Love Don’t think for a moment that your anger or hurt isn’t valid simply because the person it’s directed towards is your father. Of course it is! Even Jesus felt abandoned by his. Your feelings are valid. But just because we have valid feelings, doesn’t mean we allow them to control us. You cannot let your anger or bitterness consume you to a point where your happiness is dependent on where you are located or who is around you at any given time. And you know what? The honest truth is that your father passing away isn’t going to take away that feeling of bitterness and anger. It is a feeling you will live with for the rest of your life because by choosing to dwell in it and allow it to control you, you are choosing to make it a part of who you are. Bitter is not…

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in Qs & As

Let’s say you’ve been told by some spiritual leaders and church going folks that you’ll be great in life but your relationship with God is strained and nothing is going right and doesn’t seem like it will. Will God still honor that “great destiny” that’s been proclaimed? And another question does everyone have greatness in their future ordained by God and does God only grant those greatness only if you do what He says?

Hey Love, That’s awesome that others see a special calling on your life! It was a word like that from a pastor I’d never met before that actually started this whole journey for me! God has greatness for everyone. But greatness is not always conventional-looking. Greatness could be leading a nation out of slavery, but it could also be as simple as answering God’s prompting to pray for someone like Ananias did for Saul. Greatness isn’t about the size of the act, it’s about the purpose of it – the necessity of it in a big picture that we cannot see yet. Not everyone will be a pastor or have a pulpit or a ministry, not everyone will lead thousands and thousands to Christ. But someone’s ‘greatness’ might be to be the one who invites the man who will lead thousands and thousands to Christ to his first church service. Might…

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in Qs & As

I’ve been in a relationship for a little over three years. I’m happy, but my porn addiction has lingered, and I feel it’s impeding my relationship – stopping it from becoming what it’s supposed to be. I’ve taken up writing erotica as an avenue to ween myself off of porn, before doing away with it entirely. My girlfriend knows none of this. How do I tell her? Do I tell her? What happens if she leaves? I’m trying to be a better man, and this is the only way to that greener grass that I can see..

Helloooooo Darling, OK, this is def a new one for me! Haha. Thank you for being bold enough to ask that, even if anonymously. The first piece of advice I can give anyone with any sort of addiction is to bring that area to God. Might seem like the simplest option, but truthfully it’s the hardest because it involves actually bringing something in you that is ‘dark’ into the open light, and we don’t live in a culture that exactly lauds that. We’re told to keep our deep darks in the dark. But look at it this way – God already knows, He just needs you to hand over that area and trust Him with it. And it’s as simple as telling Him: hey, I have this addiction I’m trying to get past, I need your help. This should be a daily prayer – for God to help you with it…

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Eudora do u think ppl should tell their ‘baes’ abt their friends’ struggles? I had a friend who kept telling his girlfriends personal things I told him. lyk my family’s financial problems, my school problems, he even told her when I was sexually assaulted cos he said he couldn’t handle it. Isn’t that stupid n betrayal of trust? Oh and he’s had three different girlfriends since we became friends and he continuously tells them my s$*#. We’re no longer friends but I want to know if it’s a thing

Hey love, Personally I have a problem with third party info sharing. There is a level of trust that should exist between people, especially close friends, and if your friend cannot handle the info that you want to share, then they should say so instead of sharing the burden with someone else. It’s not fair to have your personal info shared because they didn’t have the stomach to handle it. But I understand it even if I don’t agree with it. I understand that some people can be fragile and do not hold the emotional weight of others very well, sometimes simply because they have their own to bear. I understand that people sometimes need the opinions of others to help form their own. It’s a discipline you have to build and for me personally it takes casting my own cares on Jesus and asking him to help me bear…

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I was with a guy for 3 years and we recently broke up. He was my only friend and I got so used to having him around that I didn’t spend time forming friendships with other people. I’m still having trouble doing this. Before the relationship I could be alone without being lonely. But I can’t see to do that anymore. I feel like my life is now just surrounded by my work but that’s it. Just my work. No friends or a social life. Any advice?

Hey love! I can totally understand what you’re going through. Sometimes a breakup can feel like you’ve lost the only person you could trust or who understood you. Even worse is when you break up with someone and realize that even though you were always surrounded by people, they were all HIS friends and not really yours :/ Loneliness sucks for a singular reason: we were not designed to be alone. We were created to live in communion with both God and our fellow man. So my advice to you is this: spend time with God. I’ve found that most times feelings of loneliness point to an innate desire not to have companionship but to simply connect with our Creator. Every time I feel lonely, my first instinct is to spend time with God. As for the human connection part, you should get involved in things you love doing. Put…

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