Category / Dear Diary

Dear Diary

Welcome to Slayed & Saved!

I have been pouring over my keyboard for the past week trying to decide what my first ‘official’ Slayed & Saved post would be about:
I thought about writing a piece on the joy of Easter and Jesus’ resurrection, but circumstances made it so that I wasn’t exactly feeling joyful this Easter.
I contemplated writing about more of my favorite go-to products – but the photos I took of them weren’t perfect enough.
I thought about working on a piece about my favorite spring outfits, but frankly, I’m bloated, my face is chock-full of PMS zits, and I feel like the last person you want to see sporting a floral one-piece lol.

Dear Diary Faith

Under Review

There is a certain time of year that anyone who has ever been employed before has come to both fear and dread – and no, I’m not talking about tax season.
What I’m talking about is the age-old performance review.
Yes, I DID see you grimace just then. I am yet to meet a single human being who enjoys performance reviews. Now, I could go into the psychology of them and point out all the ways they are truly inaccurate and a horrible measure of capability or competence, but even without trekking down that path, they still remain pretty awful.

Dear Diary

On Days Like This…

Some days, I feel less than saved.
On these days I get frustrated by people, and want to say snarky things to annoy them as much as they’re annoying me.
I even go as far as taking a friend’s advice and googling “How To Slap A Short Person.”
But on days like this, I feel my spirit warring within me
On days like this, even though I FEEL less than saved, I thank God that I am,
Because I can’t imagine the type of person I would be if I didn’t feel an internal opposition when I’m in the wrong,
If I didn’t feel all kinds of unrest when every bone inside of me wanted to give in to the temptation to jump off.

Dear Diary Nuggets Uncategorized

Here’s to 7 out of 77…

What Lie Are You Believing?

What false report?
What words of negativity were spoken over your life that have taken root in your heart and sprouted seeds of doubt and fear without you even knowing it?
Seeds that started off as tiny shoots but have grown to be a field of weeds in which nothing good can grow? In which the promises of God just can’t take root?
We all have them, but to be honest, I didn’t think I had any till yesterday when God showed me just how much a single statement had made me a slave to a spirit of worthlessness – a slave to the same lie the enemy has used since Adam: ‘you are not enough’.

Dear Diary Faith

When Are You getting Married?

I finally got asked.
I thought I could escape the question for a while more – being the last-but-one grandchild on my Father’s side and all. My aunties had other plans.
“So… when are you also getting married?”
“Who me? I have been asking myself the same question. I’ll let you know when I figure out the answer!” I reply sarcastically.
“So there’s no one special?”
“Do you want me to introduce you to some people?”
“Then that means there must be someone you have in mind!”
“Errrr…. no. Not actually.

Dear Diary Nuggets

Just a Few Thoughts I Had Today…

A lot of women (myself/ past self included) have sex before they’re actually ready and outside of the context of marriage because we have fallen prey to the cultural norm that relationships=sex. Like, if you have a man, you have to have sex to please/keep him or maintain the relationship. Like there can be no relationship without sex. Somehow sex has become synonymous with commitment.
It’s such a lie.
A lot of men get into relationships not because they actually want one or are ready for it but because relationships give them a pseudo-legitimate avenue to regular sex.

Dear Diary

I’m only realizing just how much social media is a tool for self validation for people. And it’s not just a ‘I want to be popular’ thing – we can become dependent on others’ responses to us (whether bad or good) to actually survive. Like, we say and do and post the right (or wrong) things to get a response that sustains us in some way. We might guise it as ‘self expression’ but we only deceive ourselves. We are only feeding off of the reactions of others, and that type of validation is so so empty. It doesn’t last.

Dear Diary

The Build-A-Man Workshop

Welcome, Ladies, to the Build-A-Man Workshop – where you can create your Perfect Man simply with the click of a few buttons!
Let me tell you how it works:
First,  our state-of-the-art Man Generator will ask you a series of questions to ascertain what it is you want your Man to look like. Green eyes? Long hair? Maybe you’re into man buns? Beards? Do you want him six-foot-four, athletic build, and with a dashing smile? We’ve got you covered!
 Next, tell us what attributes you want in a man – you name it, we can make it.

Dear Diary

Conversations with God

Sometimes I still feel like I have to monitor God in some aspects of my life lol
I say: “God- can we collaborate on this life thing? Can I give you suggestions about what I want this to look like? Tell you what would work best for me?”
And He gives me the side-eye, laughs, and shakes His head.
“Child, you had the reigns, and look at where it got you!” He says.
“ But,” I protest, “I just need you to know some things about me… you know, my preferences and what-not”
“Really?” He chuckles. “Like what? Pray tell.”
“Well… like, in terms of the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Dear Diary

Random Musing

The Christian walk is finding out you’re wrong 70% of the time.
(where 70% is being extremely generous lol)
We’re constantly learning and unlearning- changing our understanding of right and wrong, good and bad, permissible and acceptable- shifting the scales of our earthly mindset and reconstructing worldly notions until they’re totally balanced in Christ.
To be a Christian you have to become OK with being wrong.
It’s the most humbling thing in the world.

Dear Diary

Why I Hate Being Asked What I Look for in a Man

Isn’t that the single most tiring question ever? I honestly think by now men should have realized there are certain basic qualities all women are looking for in a man – whether short term or long. No one wants a douchebag. Wealth is good, but drive and passion are even better. Intelligence is a given. I’m really not sure what exactly a dude expects you to say in answering the question that he hasn’t already heard a million times.

Dear Diary

Musings of A Single Ghanaian Woman In Her Mid-Twenties

As I sit here sipping my usual morning brew of hot lemon water with ginger, praying it’s miraculously imbibed with the same effects as coffee, it dawns on me that I’ll be 25 in just over 3 months.
25. That dreaded point of no return. When you’re young enough to still be single and figuring life out, but old enough to care that you ARE single and haven’t gotten it all figured out yet. And soon others around you start to care too.
And 25 is that number for ME. Maybe it was 18 for you, I dunno. I guess it really all depends on where and how you’re raised.

Dear Diary

Letter to My 21-Year Old Self

Dear Beautiful,
You will soon realize for yourself that that’s what you are. Beautiful. And not just on the outside (though knowing that is important too). You are beautiful in your essence. Know that, and you won’t ever need validation.
Life is about connecting, with people and with God. If you don’t learn to connect, you’ll soon find yourself drowning with nothing to catch hold of.
The most important thing you’ll ever do in this life, is love yourself. And I don’t just mean physically. I mean deeply and intimately. To do this you’ll first have to know yourself, and knowing yourself takes time, and focus. Be patient.
Don’t search out love.

Dear Diary

Mumbai Nights

At first I was apprehensive about being, possibly, the only black woman in Mumbai (I caught a glance of this hot journalist-type black guy in a restaurant tonight who I’m fairly certain is my soulmate). Then I went out dancing with my friends… An Indian woman pulled me aside and told me I was so beautiful. Then it dawned on me: I was finally the ‘exotic’ one.