Category / Dear Diary

Dear Diary Faith

Come Dirty

You know how you can randomly just be doing something, and suddenly a memory that was locked away in the recesses of your brain rushes to the surface, and you find yourself piecing together all the events, not entirely sure what you’re replaying is actually a memory until you do? And then you burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the reality?
That was me yesterday when I remembered a time when one of my friends was really sick.
I know, I know – it doesn’t sound funny, but I assure you it was. It was a random day when said friend called asking if I had any malaria medicine.

Dear Diary Faith

The Three Most Important Lessons This Year Has Brought Me So Far

God is who He is, and will be who He will be, and not who you want Him to be or expect Him to be in any given season. He is not confined to your perception of Him, or of how He operates. As much as God doesn’t allow us to get comfortable in our seasons, He also doesn’t allow us to get comfortable in our knowledge of Him or how He functions, because then we’d become more confident in our own routines and processes of hearing from/receiving from/connecting with God, than in God Himself.
There was a time in my life when I would wake up at 4:30 every morning and spend time with God before heading to the gym and starting my day off.

Dear Diary Faith

The Miracle in the Mundane

I have seen miracles – but not in the ways you would think.
When I graduated college, the ER became a pretty routine part of my life. In fact, the summer of 2013 saw me in the ER at least five times, and in the doctor’s office running tests at least another six or seven. These visits were triggered by random events: my throat closing up in the middle of a work day when I’ve never had an allergy in my life, numbness in my extremities, vertigo, difficulty breathing… My most recent visit to the ER was triggered by severe chest pains – the kind that convinced me that I was really about to join my Maker.

Dear Diary Faith

Chronicles of Canaan

These last three weeks have been brutal to say the least.
Let me explain: I am someone who cherishes her sanity. And my sanity is tied to my ability to have down and alone time. I am an extroverted introvert. My life and job are very outward facing, and to pour so much out to people, I require time alone to meditate and just exist in solitude. I need to be able to do things that calm me – cook, bake, do laundry, walk around my apartment looking toe up. I need to be able to dress up, go out and slay, then come home, put on pimple cream and curl up and just lie in bed awake doing nothing because I have no energy left.

Dear Diary

Living in Wonderland

I have always loved stories. I think it’s something I learnt from my sister. Her love for reading was the reason I learnt to at such a young age. By the time I was 5, I was reading books far beyond my years. Soon, she began to write her own stories because it was possible she had already read everything appropriate enough for her age (and then some, I’m sure). She’d spend days pouring over notebooks and writing elaborate tales, and I was always impressed with her ability to bring life to words.

Dear Diary

Colorblind: When the Church Remains Silent

I don’t consider myself a particularly ‘politically-active’ person. While I have informed opinions on several socio-political issues, I am usually one to hold my peace until my opinion is relevant (which is not that often if I’m being all the way honest).
And I will be transparent enough to admit that part of what plays into my ‘non-politicalness’ is my faith. I believe that while I am entitled to my opinion and to my feelings on an issue, God’s Word and heart trump my feelings and opinions every single time.

Dear Diary

God Is Not Your Father

Your earthly father, that is.
I’ve learnt that when we conceptualize our Heavenly Father, we often use our earthly fathers as a template:
If your father was strict and restrictive, you see God as an authoritarian father, watching and measuring your every move by some unattainable standard.
If he was loving and giving, you expect the same of your Heavenly Father: a never-ending vending machine of goodness.
If your earthly Father was never around, or never cared, it’s hard to fathom that a Heavenly Father would be much different.
At first I thought this father-Father comparison didn’t apply to me.

Dear Diary Lifestyle Tips

What I Have Learnt About Relationships in the Last Four Years of Being Single

I don’t like to talk about relationships very often. In particular because I feel like I’m the least qualified to do so. I have been in all of 2 two-year-long relationships, and dated maybe 3 or 4 others, so I don’t exactly have a storehouse of experience for my 26 (going on 27) years of human existence when it comes to having a relationship, much less a successful one.
However in the past 4 years, I have had the opportunity not only to observe extensively the relationships of others, but, surprisingly enough, observe myself and how I approach relationships from an objective standpoint.

Dear Diary Faith

Battling Dysmorphia

Since we’re on the topic of freedom, I thought I’d be amiss if I didn’t tell you about my own struggle with insecurity – or at least one of them.
I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t overly preoccupied with the way I looked. It just seemed that everywhere I went people were continuously pointing out the ways in which I differed from everyone else.I was either too skinny, or too fat, or too tall. My cheeks were too big, and my clothes never fit right.

Dear Diary

Live What You’re Saying

I’ve always hated tests and examinations. While I’ve never failed one, the anxiety and stress that comes with them is enough to make me want to crawl under my covers and not resurface for days.
And yet, I understand the significance of them. I understand that, while not always the greatest measure of ability for one reason or the other, when administered properly, they do offer some sense of our overall understanding of a topic or subject.

Dear Diary

“What Do You Need?”

My trip back from Ghana this past Christmas was a nightmare – but one that turned out to be an important lesson.
Don’t ask me why I thought two layovers was a smart thing to do, but I guess it was because as someone who enjoys traveling, the idea of stopping in a new country gives me butterflies.
Needless to say that butterflies were the last thing in my stomach this time around.
After an 8-hour flight to Copenhagen followed by a 12-hour layover – without a jacket, an outlet, or anywhere to sleep – and a delayed flight to NYC, I was exhausted.

Dear Diary Faith

Through the Looking Glass

So my 5-year old niece broke my mirror last weekend.
It all began when we got back from church and she asked for scrambled eggs. Now there is nothing more frustrating than trying to scramble eggs while a 5-year old stands beside you asking to help with things that will only prolong the scrambling process. So while I had already told her not to play with my stability ball (which she finds hilarious), frankly anything that kept her out of the way so I could cook was acceptable… for the moment.
So there I was, multitasking between cooking these eggs and talking to her mom on the phone when I heard the crash.

Dear Diary

My Own Worst Enemy

As humans we have the tendency to look outwards when we face trouble of some sort of the other – we look to assign blame to others in order to heal our own wounds. Friends who lie to us, family who hurt us, the devil – anyone other than ourselves can pretty much shoulder the guilt for what we feel inside.
Because so long as we are not the ones to blame, we can move on without really having to address the possibility that it’s something in us that is wrong. That something in us was perhaps broken somewhere that needs to be mended – or that perhaps we are the perpetrators of our own pain, that we are our own victims.

Dear Diary Faith

Find Your People

Growing up I went from being the loner who mostly kept to herself to being the girl who was consistently in the midst of people. Getting closer to God meant becoming less self-conscious and more sure of my identity and my value, which in turn meant better relationships.
But even as I grew less and less self-conscious, I grew more and more self-aware – aware of how situations and things and people affected me. I became more sensitive to the actions and inactions of others and how they in turn shaped my reactions and actions, both present and future – I even became more sensitive to my own failures and shortcomings and imperfections.

Dear Diary Faith

Grammar Check

So, funny (or not so funny) story: When I moved to Ghana at 8 and started class four, I knew next to nothing about grammar. I remember taking an English test and getting a big old zero, and my father and sister laughing at me because for the question that asked for an example of a verb, I put ‘Kofi’.
Well, I graduated junior high with 9 One’s and high school with 7 A1’s (distinction by any means) AND I graduated from an Ivy, so joke’s on them! lol
The reason I bring up this story is because I find that sometimes I have issues with my spiritual grammar too.

Dear Diary Devotions Faith

The Silence of the Lamb

Sorry, I couldn’t help myself with the pop culture reference lol
It’s the best phrase I could come up with to describe the heart-wrenching horror that comes with those seasons when God is silent in our lives – when we feel most distant and most removed from our center in Christ. While a lot of times these seasons come when we ourselves have turned away from God and followed our own devices, there are times when we have not moved an inch, when we are still firmly planted in the Word and House of God, and yet there is a sudden unexpected chasm between our hearts and His.