Isn’t that the single most tiring question ever? I honestly think by now men should have realized there are certain basic qualities all women are looking for in a man – whether short term or long. No one wants a douchebag. Wealth is good, but drive and passion are even better. Intelligence is a given. I’m really not sure what exactly a dude expects you to say in answering the question that he hasn’t already heard a million times.
It was late at night. Dinner had been over for a couple of hours, and Jesus was tired. He overheard the disciples murmuring about how they could see the weariness in his eyes and in his gait all the way to the Mount of Olives. And now he was at Gethsemane, with his three closest friends: Peter, James and John.
He looked up at the dark sky and realized it was star-less… pitch black. He couldn’t help but wonder if His Father had done this on purpose- a sign to him of what was ahead. The agony invoked by the mere thought of it was overwhelming.
He turned to his friends:
“Peter, John, James… I know what’s about to happen will be hard on you.
Today’s passage has me laughing every time I read it:
That day, at evening, Jesus said to his followers, “Come with me across the lake.” So they left the crowd behind and went with Jesus in the boat he was already in. There were also other boats that went with them. A very bad wind came up on the lake. The waves were coming over the sides and into the boat, and it was almost full of water. Jesus was inside the boat, sleeping with his head on a pillow. (Mark 4:35-38)
I can’t even begin to imagine how pissed I’d be if I’d followed Jesus onto that boat, leaving the safe shore and crowds behind, and rowing straight into a storm while he slept comfortably on a pillow down below.
I should mention that one of the things that ‘freaks me out’ (for lack of better words lol) about being a Christian is my knowledge of God’s fondness of allowing people to be taken on roller coaster rides in their lives to prove some point/cause you to grow/reveal something in you (cc Job). I was at Six Flags last month, and I can tell you for a fact that I’m not a fan of roller coaster rides- or in this case, storms. No one is. We are in such a hurry to get out of them.
And that’s why trust and obedience are so important when facing them.
I could tell you it was an easy process, but I’d be lying. There’s something ridiculously hard about letting go of everything you thought you had- because even when it really is nothing substantial, it feels like you’re letting go of your world. And essentially you are.
But understand that it’s a process. It isn’t a one day thing. You’ll walk out of a relationship, the person will try to walk back in- and you’ll have to be able to preempt that and take steps back. I’ve found that when God is teaching you things like letting go, He doesn’t just leave you to it- teaching is a process. You will fail and have to retake some of those letting go tests.
First of all, God is good LOL
Secondly, I fell in love with exercise and clean eating. I work out at least an hour, at least 5 days a week (Except this week because I’m on a break because my workouts have been sluggish and my body needs to rest and recuperate.)
But I’d say it’s true when they say it’s 70% diet. I used to exercise like a mule and still not see results. Now I don’t go as hard, eat much better, and the weight came off.
As I sit here sipping my usual morning brew of hot lemon water with ginger, praying it’s miraculously imbibed with the same effects as coffee, it dawns on me that I’ll be 25 in just over 3 months.
25. That dreaded point of no return. When you’re young enough to still be single and figuring life out, but old enough to care that you ARE single and haven’t gotten it all figured out yet. And soon others around you start to care too.
And 25 is that number for ME. Maybe it was 18 for you, I dunno. I guess it really all depends on where and how you’re raised.
I grew up in the Church, and was constantly reminded of how necessary it was to keep myself for marriage. This was all good and dandy when I was 12, and when I was in an all girls’ boarding high school and there were no prospects for sex. And then there was the part where I wasn’t even really interested in guys at that point (Well, maybe just one). So it was easy to carry my virginity chip proudly. Now, fast forward several years, and I’m in college, living on my own, my boobs have finally come in (and in full force, might I add), and I’m surrounded by a plethora of potential male partners who want my number/want to be with me/want to marry me.
You will soon realize for yourself that that’s what you are. Beautiful. And not just on the outside (though knowing that is important too). You are beautiful in your essence. Know that, and you won’t ever need validation.
Life is about connecting, with people and with God. If you don’t learn to connect, you’ll soon find yourself drowning with nothing to catch hold of.
The most important thing you’ll ever do in this life, is love yourself. And I don’t just mean physically. I mean deeply and intimately. To do this you’ll first have to know yourself, and knowing yourself takes time, and focus. Be patient.
Don’t search out love.
If you’ve been following my blog posts you know I spent the last week in Mumbai, India. I was there on a consulting project for school, working with a multi-billion dollar company involved in several areas of commerce- but specifically with their real estate business. The end goal was to help them figure out ways in which to make their affordable housing more sustainable and environmentally-friendly, given Mumbai’s over-population and the ever rising pressures on social amenities and infrastructure in the region.
For me, it was also an opportunity to look at a topic I’ve always been interested in practically: comparative growth between Africa and Asia.
At first I was apprehensive about being, possibly, the only black woman in Mumbai (I caught a glance of this hot journalist-type black guy in a restaurant tonight who I’m fairly certain is my soulmate). Then I went out dancing with my friends… An Indian woman pulled me aside and told me I was so beautiful. Then it dawned on me: I was finally the ‘exotic’ one.
I am one of the women who watch the YouTube series, ‘An African City’. The series has been lauded ‘The Next Sex and The City’, a ‘ground breaking web series’, and ‘one for the returnees’, as well as ‘Ghana’s own Girlfriends’.
Now, as humorous as the show is, as a Ghanaian woman both educated and living outside of Ghana, I have to be skeptical about all this praise the show is receiving. Basically, these women are representing what I will supposedly look like in the next 5-8 years, and frankly, I don’t agree with the image.
Let’s get right to the ‘why’:
First of all, let’s touch on how very unrealistic this show is, setting-wise.